Learning to Read, One Sleeve at a Time

I was watching my 18-month-old attempt to put on a shirt today.  She easily pulled it over her head.  Amazed at her newly developed skill, I watched to see what she would do with the rest of the shirt.  She twisted it around and around her neck.  She searched for places to put her arms.  Sometimes she poked her hand into the back of the shirt and sometimes she found a hole to slip her arm into.  But when she couldn't find the other hole, she'd pull her arm back out of the hole and investigated some more.  After several minutes of experimenting, she gave up and strutted around the room, proudly singing with the shirt hanging around her neck.  She'd occasionally stop and make another attempt at finding arm holes.  But then she'd give up again and start her  singing.  She didn't seem to mind the shirt dangling around her neck with one arm flopping in front of her and the other flopping in the back.  

I noticed that Haley was so focused on playing with her shirt,  that she didn't even know I was watching her.  It reminded me of the way that Zoe (5 years) used to play with books when she was smaller.  She used to sit for hours with a book in her lap looking at pictures and "reading" stories.  She wasn't aware of anything else around her.  She was immersed in her stories.  I let her enjoy these attempts at reading the same way that I allowed Haley enjoy her attempts at getting dressed.  

While watching Haley happily struggle with her shirt, I realized that learning to get dressed is a necessary skill for being able to thrive in the real world--just like learning to read and write!  So why can't we approach teaching our children to read and write in the same way we teach them to dress themselves?  

When I tried to help Haley put on her shirt, she refused my help.  I backed off.  When I saw that she was done experimenting, I sat down next to her and offered her some support.  I pulled one sleeve around near her arm, so she could find the hole.  Then I pulled out the other sleeve (which was inside-out) and she slipped her arm in easily.  When she is ready, I will probably just show her the first sleeve and she will be able to find the other one.  Eventually, she will be able to do it on her own.  

When I teach my children to read, I give them the same kind of help.  I notice what they are trying to do.  (Read the words on the page, for example.)  I offer help and expertise.  ("Do you want me to read the words to you?") If they accept, great!  If they refuse, I back off until they want my help.  Then I offer them the support they need, until they can do it on their own.  (First, I point to the words as I read.   As they begin to learn words, I let them read and just read the ones they don't know.  Next, I might begin asking them what they think the unknown words might be.  Finally I let them read on their own.)  

Perhaps if we approach academic learnings in the same way we approach basic functional skills (like walking, talking or putting on a shirt), children will be allowed to experiment as long as they want and never feel pressured to learn something until they are ready!    

Finding a Path to Reading

When Nathan was 5, he used to boast that he taught himself how to read.  I couldn't help but feel partially offended by this comment.  I was, after all, very deliberate about teaching him how to read.  I chalked it up to his independent nature, and his 5-year-old, ego-centric view of the world.  I began to feel better.  

But recently, my free-spirited daughter began telling people that she taught herself to read, as well!  Perplexed, I had to stop and ponder this a bit.  If I was so deliberate about teaching them to read, then why did they perceive themselves to be the teacher?  

And then I realized, that's exactly what I wanted them to think!  A large part of my philosophy on reading is that children learn to read, each in their own meaningful way.  

My approach to reading has always been child-led.  From the beginning, I pay attention to the tell-tale signs that say, "I want to learn to read!"   This can be anything from taking an interest in letters, to when they start "reading" signs outside, or telling stories from the pictures in a book.  When kids realize that those little black symbols on the page mean something, their curiosity naturally leads them on the road to reading!  My job is simply to guide them along.   

When I see an opportunity to point out or model skills that would help them become better readers, I jump on it.  I call these my "teachable moments."  However, during any "teachable moment" I am careful to stay in touch with my child's interests and needs.  Sometimes they are receptive to a suggestion.   When they want an easier way to figure out a word (other than looking at the pictures), I can suggest to skip the word and come back to it, or show them how I  use the letters in the word for clues.   Sometimes, they want to be left alone.  If they don't feel like sounding out a word, I don't force them to do it.  I pay attention to when they are open to suggestions, and when my suggestions become too unnatural and forced.  I allow them to reject my ideas and try their own.  In doing so, my kids felt like they walked their own path towards reading.  I was just along to help them stay on that path.  

Now, instead of being offended that my children don't credit me with their ability to read, I am satisfied in knowing that I allowed them to teach themselves to read.  With my guidance, they learned the skills to read, in their own meaningful way.  They created their own path.  And they take pride in knowing that they did, in fact, teach themselves to read!   

Learning to Write, Without Writing

A friend recently confessed that her 4-year-old HATES to write.  Normally this child happily went along with her big sister's daily writing routines.  They write in a daily journal, where they are allowed to write anything they want--poems, letters, stories, anything.  But this sudden opposition to their routine left my friend at a loss for what to do.  

How do you teach writing to a child who doesn't want to write?  

The answer is that you don't make her write if she doesn't want to.  To start, let's think about what she really is learning when being forced to write.  She's learning that writing is not fun.  She's learning that writing is boring and a pain in the butt.   She's also learning that writing does not have anything to do with the freedom to express yourself.  These ideas, once ingrained into a child's mind, are not easily erased.  

Now let's think about what you really want your child to learn.  Writing is a beautiful art, of which there is so much more involved than the simple act of writing down words.  

First, you must form ideas for something to write.  You usually think about why you're writing, who you're writing to, or how your writing might impact others.  You might question whether or not your writing is even worth writing.  

Next, you should also be able to organize your thoughts into comprehensible sentences.  You must think about how to say the things you want to say.  (Are you trying to convince someone to do something or paint a picture in their mind?) You must think about the kinds of words you use to describe things in your writing.  You must also think about how you're writing will be organized.  If you write a story, you must be aware of the story line, character development, the setting, the organization of events.  If you write instructions, you must think about the order you put each direction and how much detail to include.  If you write poetry, you must think about the emotions your words strike, and how to make those words dance along in your poem.  

And these are just some of the things you must learn, in order to write well! 

As you look back at the list of things I just mentioned, think about this:  Do you have to be able to physically write words on a page, in order to do any of these things?  The answer, of course, is no.  You can learn to organize a story by telling one to your sister.  You can learn how your words impact others by seeing how hurt your friend got when you told her to "get out of here," or how delighted your brother got when you told him you were sorry.  You can learn to persuade someone when you have to convince your mother that the $50 toy, really is an absolute necessity!  

Children can learn to write without actually writing.  While they may not be getting practice in handwriting, spelling or grammar, they will learn many important things about content.  And if you think about it, content is the much more complex (and therefore harder to learn) concept to learn.   So if your child is reluctant to write, take a break from the physical act of writing for awhile, and bring back the joy of playing with words:

Tell a story together.  Watch how her imagination soars as you add creative twists and characters!  

Have her recount what she did today to Daddy or Grandma.  Their questions will encourage her to organize her thoughts--Where did you ride on a water slide?   

Have her tell you a story.  Ask for clarification, so as to encourage her to add details --Why did the dragon start to cry?  And be genuine about it!

Ask her to make up a song or a poem.  Let her know when her words strike you.

Let her draw or paint or sculpt or dance!  Make sure she tells you ALL about it!  

Read!  Read!  Read!  Talk about the stories you like and don't like.  Find really cool sentences that just make you think.  Make comments on what you see as you read--Ooooh!  What a cool first sentence!  I think I'm going to like this book!   Talk about the characters, as though they are real.  

Let her see you write.  And let her ask you all kinds of questions about it.  

And if your child is receptive, and if the mood strikes, 

Write WITH her.  Let her draw the pictures, while you write the words she says.  Let her dictate a letter to her aunt, while you write it.  Write down her spontaneous "silly" poem, and put it on the refrigerator so you can remember it and say it to her later.  

Get creative!  There are countless ways to practice the writing skills that are necessary for good writing.  If you incorporate these skills into your child's interests and every day activities, she will happily participate, without even knowing she is learning to write!  

Spelling Tests Don't Teach Spelling!

"Why do you give Nathan spelling tests?"  

This was the question my husband posed to me a few nights ago, that for some reason, I kept coming back to.  One reason it hit me off guard, is because he is usually asking me to do more "schooly" things with the kids.  When he regarded spelling tests as completely ridiculous, I had to stop and really ponder the subject of spelling.  

The fact is that I don't know why I did it.  It's one of the few remnants left over from my teaching days that I just never gave much thought to.  Spelling was never that important of a subject to me, and therefore, it never really integrated easily into other aspects of literacy.  I thought spelling was all about spelling tests--I mean, how else do you learn to spell?  

My first clue that spelling tests weren't important was looking at my daughter's writing.  Having just turned 5, Zoe's writing was improving by leaps and bounds.  She was writing things like, "MARR CHISMES MOMMY." Yes, she was getting better at sounding out words and adding vowels, all of which could be attributed to her growth in phonetic understanding.  But when I looked more closely at her spelling attempts, I noticed that she was experimenting with conventional spelling--like the two 'r's in "merry" and the 'ch' in "Christmas," even though there is no 'ch' sound in "Christmas."   She was actually spelling beyond phonics.  Even though I encourage her to spell inventively,  Zoe is naturally picking up on conventional spelling--even without having ever taken a spelling test in her life. 

After the seed of doubt was planted in my mind, I began looking at Nathan's writing.  At 7, he is a pretty good speller.  He can spell most 3 & 4 letter words correctly.  Most of the time, he adds the silent 'e,' uses double vowels and consonents, and uses 'er,' 'ir' and 'ar' in the right places.  He has been taking spelling tests since the beginning of the year, and one might assume that his spelling is good because of those spelling tests.  However, I know that the spelling words I have been giving him have not been words with these complex spelling patterns.  His words were from typical first grade phonetic-based spelling lists.  They consist of words like "spin, spot, spit..." or "vest, mast, jest..."  So I came to the conclusion that Nathan's spelling was improving even beyond what was required of him on his spelling tests.  

Then it dawned on me that I don't give my children any other kind of test, besides spelling tests.  I don't believe that children learn to understand math concepts by being quizzed in math facts.  They don't connect with books because I ask quiz them about their understandings after they read it.  They don't learn history by memorizing dates for a test.  I hadn't realized until a few days ago, that it just didn't make sense to be giving Nathan spelling tests, because kids don't learn to spell in daily practice by memorizing a few words at a time for a test.  

Kids learn to spell just like they learning anything else:  They learn by doing.  Nathan and Zoe are always writing.  When we write, we have to spell.  And if we want someone else to easily understand what we have written, (which is the whole point of writing in the first place)  then we must learn conventional spelling rules.  We learn those rules by seeing the words in print a couple of dozen times, by seeing similar words (thus learning a "spelling rule"), and by getting tired of asking, "How do you spell ___?" enough times to commit it to memory. (I mean long-term memory--like the kind of thing you know you'll want to remember.  Not the short-term kind--like the kind to get it right on a spelling test.)  

So...

I've decided to give up spelling tests.  I am confindent that Nathan and Zoe will continue grow in the subject of spelling, just as they have up until this point.   Adults don't learn to spell new words by taking a spelling test.  Even if we did, we wouldn't remember it when we needed to use it.  Since my kids are writing all the time, they are learning to spell just fine--without a test.  

Why Blog?

I've decided to start this blog, because I can't finish anything.  I've written bits and pieces of several articles, a few chapters of a book on reading, and about half each, of two curricula.   I have skills checklists, book chapters, articles and book lists scattered all over my hard drive.  I've flip-flopped from writing about math to writing about reading ideas, countless times.

It dawned on me that maybe I can't write a nicely polished, finshed product at this point in my life.  It might be because I allow my kids the privilege of my time, more than I do my computer.  It might be because I don't really care about a neatly packaged curriculum as much as I do about sharing my ideas.  I am constantly running into parents who ask me questions that I can breifly answer, at the moment, but can't ever get into what I REALLY want to say.  (I secretly wish I had a book of my ideas that I could pass along to them!)  I think a blog would be a much better outlet for my desire to write about these ideas.  Blogs are never finished, are they?  

I have written hundreds of pages, that until recently, I have considered unrelated.  But now, in light of my inabliaty to finish anything.  I have decided that they do have a common link.  They are all about how children learn.  

I figure that writing this blog will give others access to the lonely computer files, just waiting to make something of themselves.  If nothing else, it might motivate me to finish one of the many projects I have started over the years.  Either way, I get to write about learning, which is one thing I love to do!  So, please enjoy the reading, add comments and pass this along to other's if you like what you see!