Learning to Read, One Sleeve at a Time

I was watching my 18-month-old attempt to put on a shirt today.  She easily pulled it over her head.  Amazed at her newly developed skill, I watched to see what she would do with the rest of the shirt.  She twisted it around and around her neck.  She searched for places to put her arms.  Sometimes she poked her hand into the back of the shirt and sometimes she found a hole to slip her arm into.  But when she couldn't find the other hole, she'd pull her arm back out of the hole and investigated some more.  After several minutes of experimenting, she gave up and strutted around the room, proudly singing with the shirt hanging around her neck.  She'd occasionally stop and make another attempt at finding arm holes.  But then she'd give up again and start her  singing.  She didn't seem to mind the shirt dangling around her neck with one arm flopping in front of her and the other flopping in the back.  

I noticed that Haley was so focused on playing with her shirt,  that she didn't even know I was watching her.  It reminded me of the way that Zoe (5 years) used to play with books when she was smaller.  She used to sit for hours with a book in her lap looking at pictures and "reading" stories.  She wasn't aware of anything else around her.  She was immersed in her stories.  I let her enjoy these attempts at reading the same way that I allowed Haley enjoy her attempts at getting dressed.  

While watching Haley happily struggle with her shirt, I realized that learning to get dressed is a necessary skill for being able to thrive in the real world--just like learning to read and write!  So why can't we approach teaching our children to read and write in the same way we teach them to dress themselves?  

When I tried to help Haley put on her shirt, she refused my help.  I backed off.  When I saw that she was done experimenting, I sat down next to her and offered her some support.  I pulled one sleeve around near her arm, so she could find the hole.  Then I pulled out the other sleeve (which was inside-out) and she slipped her arm in easily.  When she is ready, I will probably just show her the first sleeve and she will be able to find the other one.  Eventually, she will be able to do it on her own.  

When I teach my children to read, I give them the same kind of help.  I notice what they are trying to do.  (Read the words on the page, for example.)  I offer help and expertise.  ("Do you want me to read the words to you?") If they accept, great!  If they refuse, I back off until they want my help.  Then I offer them the support they need, until they can do it on their own.  (First, I point to the words as I read.   As they begin to learn words, I let them read and just read the ones they don't know.  Next, I might begin asking them what they think the unknown words might be.  Finally I let them read on their own.)  

Perhaps if we approach academic learnings in the same way we approach basic functional skills (like walking, talking or putting on a shirt), children will be allowed to experiment as long as they want and never feel pressured to learn something until they are ready!